Give up the need to feel perfect to be loved.
You are loved by those who matter and you are enough..
Today I wanted to share my thoughts and ideas around fear.
Firstly I feel it is important to say that fear is a normal response to threatening and difficult situations and circumstances and is part of being alive. I believe the biggest undercurrent that creates fear is knowing that we are going to die.
It’s an existential pang that we are not going to “escape”.
Being born, getting older, suffering from disease and ultimately death are the four pillars of being on this earthly plane that we can not run away from.
I witness out in the world today so much fear due to the Covid 19 pandemic and my heart weeps for the suffering of humanity.
Im wondering how much fear could also be the emerging awareness that our places in the world are fragile, precious, and ultimately governed by forces that are out of our control especially when we are faced with our own demise.
Fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of not coping, fear of ultimately death I see are some of the biggest issues out in the world today.
Fear also creates physical responses in our precious bodies.
In the world of trauma this fear response or flight or fight can leave the adrenals on high alert and the body can be flooded with cortisol and this in turn can result in body pain and fatigue (think fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome) IBS and digestive issues,to name a few.
So, the question remains what can we do about this? I have listed below ten ideas on how to work with the powerful emotion of fear.
1. Go there!…allow your mind to wander to the worse case scenario/s….visit the dark places that you might be subconsciously avoiding. You will cope! Don’t avoid the thing you fear.
2. Bring it back to the body. Yoga, chanting, walking, meditation and of course Reiki……get out of your head and back to your heart.
3. Ground yourself… VAK x 3…think of and name 3 things you can see (Visual) three things you can hear (Audio) three things you can feel In the moment (Kinesthetic) maybe the chair beneath you for example.
4. Make friends with your fear. If it had a voice what would it be saying saying to you, What could you learn from this, How could you see this situation differently?
Is this “your” voice?
5. Write a letter to your higher power, spirit, angels or whoever you see as a guiding, loving consistent input in your life.. tell them your fears and ask them to help you make peace with or remove them. Maybe put the letter in a God Box or something similar.
6. Do what it is you are scared of….this might need to be with help and outside support but you can do this!!
Unsupported excitement can feel like fear.
7. Lean into the discomfort. Sometimes emotions are uncomfortable and a lot of living can be an avoidance strategy to not feel fear or other powerful feelings and emotions. Be curious, open and wise to the gifts these feelings can bring.
8. Let nature help you out. Go for a walk, be with the trees, forests, sea, open hills and greenery wherever it is that your soul is comforted and you feel safe in nature’s gentle embrace.
9. Read nurturing, or educational books that give you a sense of comfort. This may not be self help books either. I love reading children’s books and looking at picture books that soothe my inner child.
10. This is a really important one. Recognise that you might be carrying other peoples fear. Especially if it manifesting as terror. These extremities of emotion can be carried from others. You might need support unpicking this and doing some clearing work in this area which Reiki can be especially helpful with.
I hope the above helps. This isnt text book learning but my own lived experience.
Love and light.
In todays post I wanted to write about my take and lived experience on the idea of Ancestral or carried trauma.
It’s no mystery that we are a culmination of our parents DNA and with that comes a deeper, engrained network of scripts (from the world of transactional analysis) and learnt behaviours and responses.
Also, fascinating to me is the notion and evidence based work on ancestral trauma and mental / emotional health within our families of origin.
Many studies have been conducted in this area and if someone is challenged by their own mental / emotional health today, when traced back it is often seen that there is a blueprint of poor mental health in other family members backgrounds and lived experience.
Is is also fantastic to see emerging more body centric therapies and modalities that take this viewpoint seriously and work to unlock repressed trauma and release trapped “emotion” In this way.
In my own experience and when working with clients and students I have been witness to some amazing shifts and emotional releases on the level of deeper body awareness, sensations and consciousness.
Some of the theories , therapies and approaches that I have seen work are
Pyschedelic intervention (with additional therapy)
All of these in my opinion go beyond the talk based approaches that other modalities offer.
I do understand and have also personally experienced deep rooted trauma being healed on an equally deep level not by “talking” about the problem but by feeling the problem, getting in touch with the emotion, understanding what wisdom the body is giving me, what the learning is and “then” being safe enough to release it while has had a marked positive impact on emotional resilience and on wide spread body pain and fatigue.
Conditions like chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia to name just two.
Its not a miracle cure and takes commitment but it is also a beautifully profound approach to listen to our bodies own healing “response” and very importantly to pay close attention to the answers that arise from this level of work.
It may be In our DNA but it doesn’t mean it is yours to carry.
It can be released with help and support.
I would not undertake this level of work without consulting a trained and competent facilitator in body based therapies and approaches..
May you find your healing spaces and places where you are held and safe..
With love from.
Today I wanted to share my thoughts and a snap shot of my experience around the idea of a spiritual path and how that can be quite a lonely experience.
Firstly the question I have is …What does it mean to be spiritual?
I feel that the word “Spiritual” is used a lot, (maybe too much) and quite a hip thing to be thought of…but what does it actually mean?
For me I have always been aware of my connection to something other than me. As a child I was in tune with other energies and beings.
A clear memory I have is being 8 years old. We had a familiar swing in our family back garden. I loved to play on the swing for hours at a time. I also remember convincing my best friend that if you were to swing high enough on it you would reach God…I truly believed that.
During my tumultuous teens, I was also interested in anything to do with the spirit realms understanding that my limited experience of the world wasn’t all there was… I don’t feel I want to delve further into this here other than to say it was all part of my personal exploring into other worlds. Although this was a delve into darker places it also opened my horizons and view points in “just because I can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist”
When I was 25 I started to attend 12 step fellowships and stumbled across the idea and concept of a “higher power”. Something bigger and greater than myself that not only existed but that “had my back”..
My version of unconditional love that a higher power provided was not something I had ever experienced before. How could I trust something or somebody who I couldn’t see or feel?
I based my higher power experience on my upbringing that had been abusive and anything but unconditional or consistent.
Here I was being asked to hand my will and my life over…to what or who?
The real paradigm shift in my spiritual development and awareness came when I sadly lost my brother in tragic circumstances not 6 months after I had lost my Dad to cancer.
I wanted answers and I went to the local church and from a kneeling position asked God why? I needed to know.. where was God and why had he let this happen?
The next day I walked into a local gift shop and was greeted by a Hare Krishna devotee who worked there. I felt something profound in our exchange and connection and was invited to their Sunday Feast programme.
I loved this experience and felt at home both with the other people and within myself.
The chanting of the Hare Krishna Mantra transported me to another place and was deeply moving and profound ..I felt in touch with those same places and energies that I experienced as a child..I was simply in awe.
For the next 5 years I submerged myself in Krishna Consciousness and surrounded myself with the love and support of this community. Chanting, eating blessed food studying the vedic scripts and literature and attending festivals and events.
As I healed from the trauma of my past and also the trauma of family bereavement my needs changed and the love that was shown to me from the Krishna Community started to feel conditional and with this new found awareness I made the conscious decision to come away from the movement and look at more body centric healing and modalities.
I qualified as an Angelic Reiki Practitioner. This simply rocked my world and ever since qualifying and dedicating my daily spiritual practice to this energy, I have noticed a remarkable and growing connection with the Archangels and Angelic realms. Although it was always present from a young age it makes more sense now.
This journey for me also brings with it a certain loneliness and separation from societal norms. Although I have joined a beautiful Tantric community which is nurturing, rewarding and exciting.
Being on a spiritual path can be a very lonely place. I can be part of a community and surround myself with people on a spiritual path, however I also believe that my “relationship” with God/Higher power/Spirit is deeply personal and God isn’t exclusive and accessible from just one view point or understanding. It is a personal relationship that no-one else has ownership of.
I have a strong daily practice of chanting in the morning (the Hare Krishna mantra), daily meditation (Angelic Chakra Cleansing) and often pray.. I believe in God, simply put I believe I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.
I am very grateful for my emerging and ongoing connection with the Angelic realms and a God of my understanding which is strengthened by having a daily spiritual practice which is essential for me.
I also believe in divine timing and nothing is coincidental..I was shown what I needed to see at the right time.
I want to finish this writing with the extended serenity prayer and ask are we ever really alone?
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”
“Grant me patience with the changes that take time, appreciation for all that I have, tolerance of those with different struggles and the strength to get up and try again”.
“One day at a time….”
With love and blessings.