In todays post I wanted to write about my take and lived experience on the idea of Ancestral or carried trauma.
It’s no mystery that we are a culmination of our parents DNA and with that comes a deeper, engrained network of scripts (from the world of transactional analysis) and learnt behaviours and responses.
Also, fascinating to me is the notion and evidence based work on ancestral trauma and mental / emotional health within our families of origin.
Many studies have been conducted in this area and if someone is challenged by their own mental / emotional health today, when traced back it is often seen that there is a blueprint of poor mental health in other family members backgrounds and lived experience.
Is is also fantastic to see emerging more body centric therapies and modalities that take this viewpoint seriously and work to unlock repressed trauma and release trapped “emotion” In this way.
In my own experience and when working with clients and students I have been witness to some amazing shifts and emotional releases on the level of deeper body awareness, sensations and consciousness.
Some of the theories , therapies and approaches that I have seen work are
All of these in my opinion go beyond the talk based approaches that other modalities offer.
I do understand and have also personally experienced deep rooted trauma being healed on an equally deep level not by “talking” about the problem but by feeling the problem, getting in touch with the emotion, understanding what wisdom the body is giving me, what the learning is and “then” being safe enough to release it while has had a marked positive impact on emotional resilience and on wide spread body pain and fatigue.
Conditions like chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia to name just two.
Its not a miracle cure and takes commitment but it is also a beautifully profound approach to listen to our bodies own healing “response” and very importantly to pay close attention to the answers that arise from this level of work.
It may be In our DNA but it doesn’t mean it is yours to carry.
It can be released with help and support.
I would not undertake this level of work without consulting a trained and competent facilitator in body based therapies and approaches..
May you find your healing spaces and places where you are held and safe..
I wanted to write today about the importance of self healing and the time this can take.
I have witnessed and also personally experienced the throws of dealing with trauma.
Through the lens of CPTSD.
This was a long and arduous journey through very dark times, shadowy places and uncharted waters.
Thankfully I didn’t do it alone. I invested in recovery by choosing a fully qualified EMDR specialist who bit by bit was able to support me in my healing journey as well as the amazing friendships I have and an emerging spiritual practice which is at the heart and core of my healing.
This has taken time and much needed pooling of my own internal resources to assist me.
The most important aspect has been allowing and giving myself as much time as I need to heal.
Sometimes this can take 5 steps forward and 4 steps back. It has been imperative that I dont push myself too hard or too fast.
I also see that people with or who have experienced trauma can also have performance or perfection scripts going on . The ones that say be more, do more and hurry up.
The most important work I see away from social norms of achievement is to do the inner work, the piecing together of broken childhoods, family dysfunction and learnt and addictive coping strategies.
To replace them gradually with self comfort in healthier ways, creative outlets and love.
Also not to be ashamed of asking for help. To risk being seen and vulnerable and above all to stop picking on ourselves and give ourselves a break.
I sometimes say “if God existed and he was sitting with me would he be asking me to “hurry up”?
No he would want me to rest, be still and be at peace…
Such a simple question but one that can be hard to answer.
I know for me that part of my journey has been to “unfold” who I am without needing to mould myself into other people’s expectations of me.
I call it the chameleon affect.
Trying to always “blend in” with my surroundings.
I also understand that this can stem from a “deep routed” sense of not being ok with self.
I remember as a child creating fairytale lands of magic powers and invincibility which I now know was in an attempt to escape the harsh reality of my less than perfect upbringing and often tumultuous home environment.
I created places and worlds where I would be “safe”.. All powerful and connected to something other than what was happening around me.
Today I allow myself to escape in healthier ways.
Movies, books, art, colouring books and poetry are ways that I allow my inner child to feel acknowledged.
This is important for me especially with the sometimes over whelming responsibility of having to “adult”.
When I connect with myself through creative expression and to my inner child, I can then go into the world with a greater confidence and able to remain consistently in self approval.
I can look at myself and know who I am.
Back to my original question..
Who are you?
Who “can” you be and what part needs your attention today?
How would it be to listen to the inner child within and see what they need?
Even just for while before you need to be a responsible adult again.