Blog

Tips and Tools

10 tips to let go…

spiritsoulcoaching

Today I wanted to share my ideas on letting go.

I know that when I am faced with the unexplored, unknown and un chartered this can cause fear.

Even if my fear is unfounded. My body can still “react” to these fear responses.

Also with the complex nature of trauma these intense emotions can become “trapped” in the body energetically.

Hence I believe a lot of chronic pain conditions are trauma based and have emotional elements to them which I will cover in another blog post.

So how do we let go of this ,how can we release the trauma? How can we let go of the intensity?

I’ve shared some tips below:

  1. Yoga… This is especially helpful to get back into the body and out of the head- think gentle stretches rather than yogic gymnastics
  2. Prayer… To hand it over to a power greater than myself whether that be on my knees or writing a letter to God / Spirit /Angels to help me and remove my fear and putting the letter in my God Box
  3. Meditation…Especially body scans that focus on each muscle group in turn to create the relaxation response within our bodies
  4. Nature….get out of your head!, go for a walk, soak in the healing gift that mother nature has given us, trees, greenery, beautiful landscapes waiting to be explored
  5. Distraction …Something that can focus your attention and be enjoyed. I love to knit and do Mandala coloring books
  6. Creative writing….This has greatly helped me process my feelings in different ways whether that be short stories or poetry
  7. Arts and crafts. My inner child loves to play, making soaps, making cards and pottery
  8. Hot bubbly baths, with epsom salts and candles…lush escapes
  9. Listen to classical music, especially music without words
  10. Invest in good therapy!

These are just some ideas that have and do really help me.

Good luck with your own solutions and healing adventures.

Feel free to share what works for you too….

Reflections

Giving yourself a chance…

spiritsoulcoaching

magazine-unlock-05-2.3.1250-_4799A0D8CB429959804CDC6EBE476C7C.jpg

I wanted to write today about the importance of self healing and the time this can take.

I have witnessed and also personally experienced the throws of dealing with trauma.

Through the lens of CPTSD.

This was a long and arduous journey through very dark times, shadowy places and uncharted waters.

Thankfully I didn’t do it alone. I invested in recovery by choosing a fully qualified EMDR specialist who bit by bit was able to support me in my healing journey as well as the amazing friendships I have and an emerging spiritual practice which is at the heart and core of  my healing.

This has taken time and much needed pooling of my own internal resources to assist me.

The most important aspect has been allowing and giving myself as much time as I need to heal.

Sometimes this can take 5 steps forward and 4 steps back. It has been imperative that I dont push myself too hard or too fast.

I also see that people with or who have experienced trauma can also have performance or perfection scripts going on . The ones that say be more, do more and hurry up.

The most important work I see away from social norms of achievement is to do the inner work, the piecing together of broken childhoods, family dysfunction and learnt and addictive coping strategies.

To replace them gradually with self comfort in healthier ways, creative outlets and love.

Also not to be ashamed of asking for help. To risk being seen and vulnerable and above all to stop picking on ourselves and give ourselves a break.

I sometimes say “if God existed and he was sitting with me would he be asking me to “hurry up”?

No he would want me to rest, be still and be at peace…

I trust that today.

Blessings

 

Paul.

 

Inspirational words, Reflections

Awakening…

spiritsoulcoaching

White wings and radiating light

I wanted to share these insightful words of wisdom from a wonderful book that I read called the Instruction Manual for Recieving God by Jason Shulman.

It’s a simple to digest book and highly recommended.

The hard work of truly awakening involves getting a clear idea of just how much of life we cannot bear.

We need to see how limited we really are. Then we will have the chance to meet God in reality and not in the fateful fantasy of saving or punishing ourselves.

The real self is not found in the movies or on the stage. It is not in books and has no script.

It is filled with surprise entrances and sometimes inexplicable exits.

All of this is OK.

It takes practice to let go of some limited idea of perfection or goodness. God is not a reward. God is your own miserable, magnificent self.

Inner child

Your not who you think you are…

spiritsoulcoaching

 

IMG_8543.jpg

Who are you?

Such a simple question but one that can be hard to answer.

I know for me that part of my journey has been to “unfold” who I am without needing to mould myself into other people’s expectations of me.

I call it the chameleon affect.

Trying to always “blend in” with my surroundings.

I also understand that this can stem from a “deep routed” sense of not being ok with self.

I remember as a child creating fairytale lands of magic powers and invincibility which I now know was in an attempt to escape the harsh reality of my less than perfect upbringing and often tumultuous home environment.

I created places and worlds where I would be “safe”.. All powerful and connected to something other than what was happening around me.

Today I allow myself to escape in healthier ways.

Movies, books, art, colouring books and poetry are ways that I allow my inner child to feel acknowledged.

This is important for me especially  with the sometimes over whelming responsibility of having to “adult”.

When I connect with myself through creative expression and to my inner child, I can then go into the world with a greater confidence and able to remain consistently in self approval.

I can look at myself and know who I am.

Back to my original question..

Who are you?

Who “can” you be and what part needs your attention today?

How would it be to listen to the inner child within and see what they need?

Even just for while before you need to be a responsible adult again.

 

With love and light.

 

Paul.