I wanted to write today about the importance of self healing and the time this can take.
I have witnessed and also personally experienced the throws of dealing with trauma.
Through the lens of CPTSD.
This was a long and arduous journey through very dark times, shadowy places and uncharted waters.
Thankfully I didn’t do it alone. I invested in recovery by choosing a fully qualified EMDR specialist who bit by bit was able to support me in my healing journey as well as the amazing friendships I have and an emerging spiritual practice which is at the heart and core of my healing.
This has taken time and much needed pooling of my own internal resources to assist me.
The most important aspect has been allowing and giving myself as much time as I need to heal.
Sometimes this can take 5 steps forward and 4 steps back. It has been imperative that I dont push myself too hard or too fast.
I also see that people with or who have experienced trauma can also have performance or perfection scripts going on . The ones that say be more, do more and hurry up.
The most important work I see away from social norms of achievement is to do the inner work, the piecing together of broken childhoods, family dysfunction and learnt and addictive coping strategies.
To replace them gradually with self comfort in healthier ways, creative outlets and love.
Also not to be ashamed of asking for help. To risk being seen and vulnerable and above all to stop picking on ourselves and give ourselves a break.
I sometimes say “if God existed and he was sitting with me would he be asking me to “hurry up”?
No he would want me to rest, be still and be at peace…
I trust that today.