Blog

Good morning,

Today I wanted to take the opportunity to introduce my new venture with the The Mens Lounge on my website and to share a little of my own experience with you.

Having lived through the devastating effect of a male family members suicide I felt compelled to share my experience, strength and hope.

I understand that as a male some of the messages, both externally and internally that could be running are:

Be strong

Dont be vulnerable

Dont show emotion

Try / work harder

Be the “provider”

Put others first

Be perfect

Anger is OK, but tears arent

Im wondering how this is resonating with you as you are reading this?

I worked in high end corporate roles in the city of London and had a work ethic drummed into me to work harder and never show weakness.

This came at a big cost to my own mental, emotional and physical health and I kept pushing myself further and harder.

I was burnt out and had nothing left to give and eventually I broke.I was ignoring my mental health needs to my detriment.

At that moment I made a conscious decision to stop work and get the right support which started my journey of healing and self-discovery.

This was a difficult decision to make as I didnt have a plan B and ive always needed a plan and to feel in “control”. I had to trust that the outcome would be right for me.

Thankfully It has worked out in a way that fits in with my values and has brought about a shift in putting my recovery and mental health first. This has meant rigorous honesty , self enquiry and very importantly reaching out for help and support when needed.

Today I also practice a lot of what works including chanting, meditation, journalling and I also have weekly therapy.

It doesnt mean I dont have days that I struggle, I do but now those days are less frequent and more managable.

Of course Im not perfect either but I have a more compassionate voice within, that encourages me to be kinder to myself.

I encourage you to reach out, ask for help and support and above all learn to be kinder to yourself too.

Please feel free to comment and share. Id love to hear what has worked for you…

With much Love.

Zad.